Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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