He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so let's talk penis.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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