I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
