I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
