Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just pee around me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
