Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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