she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
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My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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