Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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