I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
