I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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