I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
