put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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