dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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