we're blogging at a bar
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
