how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
In America we eat man semen.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I fill condoms, not promises.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
