So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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