My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
