Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
