Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
