I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
