tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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