Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
