OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
being pregnant is like rehab
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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