ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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