You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
