you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
