is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
how does that bad decision feel?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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