Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
