oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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