At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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