Christians are straight up FREAKS
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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