It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
