I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize