He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
