I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
