either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
