giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
