Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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