i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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