i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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