I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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