So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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