dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
