You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize