We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I will pee on everything he values.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think people are normalizing furries
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
