I wish I could teleport
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
