he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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