did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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