Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
