worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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