Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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