I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
