she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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