i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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