i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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