I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
