I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
