At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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