I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
