I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So vagazzling was a success
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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