Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
