Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
