Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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