You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
