can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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