when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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