im gay
i know
yea but for you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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