I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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